So Grateful For Temples

It is the day before we have the opportunity to go through the temple with my handsome son.  I have so many emotions in my heart. On one hand I am grateful for the testimony I have that there is a plan for all of this and that we can be together as a family forever. Yet at the same time I know he is leaving in just a few short days for Kentucky, and I don’t know how to be that wise mom who sends her children off gracefully to become even more than who they are right now.

Every part of me is not okay.

I have been amazed by his strength as I have watched him over the last few months willingly make sacrifices without complaint, and give up or turn away from so many good things in his life that he finds value in just so he can go on a mission right now. He has been here physically, but at the same time he has already left on his mission as he has processed what it has meant to be a full time missionary. The son I am sending off on Monday for his mission has grown so much, but it hasn’t been easy. It is almost harder to send him off than it was to send Jacey, and I thought that was the worst day of my life ever. When I had to let her walk away and reluctantly board a plane to Mexico to face an unknown life which terrified her.  

I have to purposefully choose to see the eternal perspective, and the mortal side of me is not as strong as I thought. I have found myself wondering who else cares. Who else in his life loves him the most? Who else are the ones that will give him strength and support? I know in my heart that God is the only one that will be there for him always, but I have so much hope in people that I wonder who his guardian angels are going to be.

Why I thought the process would be a little gentler I don’t know.