Faith and Mountains

Monday’s are hard. I look forward to them. I count my weeks by them. I get excited for them, and I do nothing all day except text and talk to my missionary and my family. They are days we are together. ISH!! And I love it! But life happens always, and the reality of my family not being together settles in at night. 

I am trying so hard to be okay with it. I am trying to be okay with getting older. I am trying my hardest to learn to let go of my kids and I am trying my hardest to support adult children. I am trying to have faith in Heavenly Father’s timing. I am trying to be okay with the process of becoming through the challenges of life. I am trying. .. 

Right here! 

Right now! 

On Monday nights! 

This is my mountain!

This is what I need help with. 

It is not rational! I can’t walk myself away from it! It isn’t going to move! So I must climb it! 

I know I won’t be climbing it alone, but sometimes. I don’t want this mountain to be here! I want the lush garden I had before this mountain appeared. The one where the outside world stayed, well . . . outside! 

On Tuesday’s the mountain is a bit smaller. 

On Wednesday’s even smaller still.

On Thursday’s I can’t feel the mountain, and by Friday I can’t wait for Monday to come again! 

I didn’t know having children and learning to let them go would be this hard! 

So I will do what I do best in moments like Monday nights! I will keep trying!

Maybe one day the Lord will say, “You have compassed this mountain long enough.” And take me by the hand to help me to the summit. It might just take 40 years, but I seriously hope it doesn’t.