This Is The Reason There Was No Group Email

JACEY: I’m on mommy!

BARBARA:  I am too!!  Good Morning Cute girl!! Did you get your package?

Your Mission President's wife posted on the Facebook page a couple of pictures of your group. It is so fun to see your smiling face.

JACEY:  I was reading Max’s email!! I didn’t get my package yet. I miss you.

BARBARA:  I am glad you read his long email. I miss you too.

JACEY:  I am really having a hard time and I feel really sick right now. But I don’t know. I am trying to make it through. I am really sad right now that I am missing 4 Christmases with Max

BARBARA:  Oh cute girl. Tell me what you are having the hardest time with.

JACEY:  Missing home. I am sad because I feel like I am missing so much. I want to be there when Max goes to dances and I want to be there for Christmas and I miss you guys a lot. I don’t feel comfortable because I don’t speak the language so that is hard so I just want to be home so I can be with you guys and be there for the big things and be able to talk to people.

BARBARA:  Oh princess. Your heart is who you are. It loves forever, and wants to hold close everyone you care about. It was like that even before Sofie died, but even more so since then. I am glad to know we are on the list of those you care most about. I read Max's letter (which by the way I got in trouble for), and he is sharing with you everything. He does not share with me, and he wants to have that relationship with you. He will keep you in the loop. Even though he misses you. He is super proud of you, and prays for you to like your mission every time he prays.

JACEY:  Awe that’s cute!! I miss him a lot, and you!! I want to be home with you guys. I don’t miss anything as much as I miss the family. I don’t need my phone or even Cafe Rio or other things, but I want to be there with you guys.

BARBARA:  Really the only thing you are missing is Max's dances. We are not the party animals. That would be you.❤

BARBARA:  Also, if we are talking about Christmas, what can I send you that would say family tradition all over it?

JACEY:  I don’t know.... There is nothing that you could send me that I can think of. I want to be there with you. I don’t know what to do about that. I also think that I can probably do this Christmas. It’s mostly the fact that I won’t have a Christmas with Max for 4 years. That is the hardest for me.

BARBARA:  That is in the future. Who knows, he may choose not to go on a mission. All we can do is live one day at a time trying to do what we think is right. We can't worry about down the road.

You get to call us, and Skype, and that part of it will be Christmas!!

JACEY:  I hope he goes on a mission. hahhah. Its hard to live one day at a time. I am thinking 18 months into the future right now. I am worried about down the road and I don’t know how not to.

I do get to call and I am already so so excited. This is hard mommy.  Also I might not write a group email this week....

BARBARA:  I really should wait for you to respond before I email you back. It seems we have two different conversations going on at the same time. We are still praying for you. Is your back as bad as it was last week, and you said you weren't feeling well. Are you sick?

JACEY:  Yeah I am sick.... I have diarrhea right now.... Sorry that’s a lot of information for you. My back still hurts, but it’s a little better now.

BARBARA:  It is okay not to write a group email, but remember all of those people love you and are supporting you.

JACEY:  I know. I just mostly want to talk to you right now, and it’s hard to talk to you and write a group email

JACEY:  Do you talk to Dena at all still... How is Remi?

BARBARA:  She sends me her weekly emails. It sounds like she is doing well, but she gave me the impression she was doing well before, and you told me she was having a hard time.

JACEY:  yeah she is doing the same as me. I want to get her weekly emails.

BARBARA:  Your body is adjusting to a lot of things right now, and you have been under a lot of stress. Also, getting used to different foods will upset your system. Are you using your filtered water bottles?

BARBARA:  I just realized something. PEOPLE matter to you. Talking to people matters to you. You are having a hard time because you don't feel like you can talk to people. In the MTC you tried to talk to the boys, and you were told you couldn't. Now in Peru, you are in a position where the language barrier is there.

JACEY:  I am using my water bottle. I am afraid to drink that water without it hahah. I am stressing a lot right now. Yes.... I love people and I love talking and I can’t. I can’t talk to my friends who are boys and I can’t talk to people because it is in Spanish.

BARBARA:  I love you sweetheart. I am here for you!!!!!

JACEY:  hahha I love you a lot. Thank you mom. I miss you

BARBARA:  You are so strong!! You are doing better than you know. Sometimes, when my sisters and I were going through super hard things because of my parents’ divorce, we would try to comfort us by saying "Your kids are pulling for you."  Well, I know you have a whole lot of people pulling for you. You just work on building you to become who you are proud to be, and know that the rest of us are holding you up even if you can't see us.

JACEY:  I feel like I am doing really bad though mom. I hope my kids are pulling for me too. I wish I could see you all holding me up. I need help. Max told me that there are rumors that mission lengths might change. If they did would I still serve for 18 months or would I do less or more depending on the change.

BARBARA:  It is a rumor at this point. Don't get your hopes up. Even if they change the mission length, I would think they would just make both the Elders and the Sisters the same. I read that in Max's letter, and that was the first I heard of it. If by chance they did indeed change it, you would probably be given the choice. That is what happened to dad. He was called for 18 months, and then they changed it back to 2 years. He was given the choice. Dad loved his mission so much he chose to leave at 18 months.

JACEY:  I won’t get my hopes up. hahhahah. Yeah I relate to dad at this point.

BARBARA:  How can I help you more?

JACEY:  I don’t know. There really is not much you can do for me at this point. You are in Utah and I am in Peru. Unless you can figure out a way for 18 months to fly by.

BARBARA:  This experience is defining who you are on the inside. Now you know why people come home and say it was the hardest 2 years of my life. I know you have so much strength inside of you. You just need to believe in yourself.

JACEY:  Thank you mom!! I love you a lot!!! I have to get off now but I love you and I miss you every single day I am here. I can’t wait to talk to you next week.

BARBARA:  I am fasting and praying for you, and putting your name in the temple. I talk out loud to you too.

JACEY:  I love you! I love you! I love you!

BARBARA:  I LOVE YOU!!!!!

BARBARA:  Be strong little one!! And trust your Savior. You only need to be strong enough to lean on him.