St George Weekend To Visit My Dad
Every time I call my dad, my step mom answers. She talks to me for awhile, and hands the phone to my dad who has been in the background listening to our conversation. He tells me he loves me, and then thanks me for calling, and he's done. I get so frustrated because I call to talk to my dad, not necessarily to Joan. So I don't call as often as I should. I know my dad is slowly forgetting little things, and he probably doesn't like to talk on the phone, but I still wish for more.
This last weekend, Jacey and I went to visit and we arrived at their house while Joan was still at the store. My dad let us in, and talked to us for a while. He then thanked us for coming to visit, and wondered where we were staying. We were planning to stay with him. I reminded him we were staying there, and he laughed and told me he remembered. He also remembered helping Joan change the sheets for our beds. On one hand, it is sad that he doesn't remember everything, and yet, he is still the same. He is still the happy, laughing man I knew as I grew up, and I kept telling Jacey I want to be like my dad when I grow old. I do not want to be grumpy. I am glad he still knows who I am, and when it was really time for us to go, he held me tight, and told me he loved me, and I listened with my heart. I really do know he loves me. I know one of the sacrifices he has made to make his wife happy is not being close to his own kids. I know it makes him sad not to see us very often. I don't know when the time will come when he doesn't remember me, but for now, knowing he loves me is enough. I was sad when I drove away from his house. I really wish he didn't live so far away, but somehow the only thing that matters is knowing he loves me, and also knowing my dad knew I loved him too. Somehow, that is what matters most.
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