Seriously Longest Month Ever
When Jacey read Hunter's text and decided if Hunter could do it, she could too, we didn't know exactly how things would turn out. We were just going on the fact that Jacey really wanted to be an active participant at the high school, and we were hoping that it would turn out at least as well as Hunter's story.
And pretty much WAS Hunter's story.
Jacey didn't make SBO (elected or appointed). Jacey's didn't make Senior Class office, and had one chance left. After trying seven times, it kind of wears you down. In fact, The last two interviews were brutal. On the second to last interview, I decided that she needed a little pick me up. So I asked two close friends of mine to text Jacey to maybe relieve some anxiety. It worked a little, and I joked with her that I would have to call in bigger guns next time. Which I did.
Thank you to all who texted Jacey the day of her interview. I didn't have everyone's cell number so some of you had to represent your whole extended family. But I can not begin to express my gratitude for the outpouring of well wishers on the day of her last interview. She definitely felt buoyed up, and not at all alone as she went in for her final interview.
By this time, I would like to say that I had worked it all out in my mind and aligned my will to that of the Lord's, but that is definitely not what happened.
This was my prayer:
Please, please, please let her make it, and if this is not your will, I will definitely not be okay, and neither will Jacey, and I will try to eventually be okay, but I think I will be really upset for a while. Just letting you know.
I have seen my daughter go through the whole range of disappointment, and I have taught her well the art of getting over things by serving others. Her goodness throughout this whole election process has on multiple times brought tears to my eyes.
A week ago Friday, Jacey learned that she didn't make Senior Class elected office. She was hoping she would make it along with Stephen and Dallin. That is what we are now calling the "Dream Team." Stephen and Dallin did make it, and so did Shirley. Upon hearing the winners Stephen immediately left the room. He didn't stop to say a word to anyone. He just left. Dallin hugged Jacey and Jacey left.
When Jacey got home, we had the service plan already in place and off to the store we went for ice cream to give the winners. (To go with the root beer we gave them on round 2.) Jacey took the ice cream to Stephens home first. Stephen was not home, but his very sweet mom was. She took one look at Jacey and started to cry and pulled her into her arms to embrace her. I think she hugged her at least four times. While Jacey was there, she learned the reason that Stephen had left the room so quickly. He was very upset. He told his mom, "Mom, I couldn't do it. I have been on both sides, and I know how much it hurts." He also told his mom that Jacey was part of his "Dream Team" too. He was very upset over how things turned out. The simple gesture of reaching out and serving others, had put my daughter in a place that she too could be comforted.
This last Friday five final names were chosen for office positions. Avery, Colby, Sydney, Isaac, and ... Jacey. Her name was the very last named called, and she was already in self preservation mode. The girl sitting by her burst into tears and hugged her and would not let go. She was devastated, and clinging to Jacey for comfort. Jacey didn't fully comprehend that she had won until the girl congratulated her.
Then my beautiful sweet daughter's true personality came out. She was horrified to feel the burden of success when others were hurting because of her fortune. There were no squeals of delight, or jumping for joy. There was no laughter, or even the desire to celebrate. When she came home, tears were streaming down her face, and her whole demeanor was disheartening. She simply didn't know how to navigate this new adventure. So we did what we knew to do. We reached out to those who were hurting. By the end of the night, Jacey had calmed down enough to answer a question that I had asked her. "Which is worse losing, or winning and know others are hurting?" She originally said winning was harder, but by the evening, she was able to recognize they were both hard. Just Different!
I wouldn't trade either of my children for anyone else's. They are unique in their own ways and definitely not perfect, but their weaknesses and mine at times combine to have the most soul searching of experiences. I absolutely love them with all of my heart. They bring me to my knees often, and they also bring oh so much joy and happiness. I am so proud of my non celebratory children who think of others feeling ahead of their own. I absolutely love that fact that they just try to be good, and hope the world will accept them for doing their best. They are hard workers, and will push through hard things to reach their dreams.
That is what this life is all about. That is why when I received the text from Jacey. "I made it!" I burst into tears, fell to my knees, and thanked the Lord. I also owe him an apology. "Wilt thou bless my unbelief" sometimes is the story of my life.
And pretty much WAS Hunter's story.
Jacey didn't make SBO (elected or appointed). Jacey's didn't make Senior Class office, and had one chance left. After trying seven times, it kind of wears you down. In fact, The last two interviews were brutal. On the second to last interview, I decided that she needed a little pick me up. So I asked two close friends of mine to text Jacey to maybe relieve some anxiety. It worked a little, and I joked with her that I would have to call in bigger guns next time. Which I did.
Thank you to all who texted Jacey the day of her interview. I didn't have everyone's cell number so some of you had to represent your whole extended family. But I can not begin to express my gratitude for the outpouring of well wishers on the day of her last interview. She definitely felt buoyed up, and not at all alone as she went in for her final interview.
By this time, I would like to say that I had worked it all out in my mind and aligned my will to that of the Lord's, but that is definitely not what happened.
This was my prayer:
Please, please, please let her make it, and if this is not your will, I will definitely not be okay, and neither will Jacey, and I will try to eventually be okay, but I think I will be really upset for a while. Just letting you know.
I have seen my daughter go through the whole range of disappointment, and I have taught her well the art of getting over things by serving others. Her goodness throughout this whole election process has on multiple times brought tears to my eyes.
A week ago Friday, Jacey learned that she didn't make Senior Class elected office. She was hoping she would make it along with Stephen and Dallin. That is what we are now calling the "Dream Team." Stephen and Dallin did make it, and so did Shirley. Upon hearing the winners Stephen immediately left the room. He didn't stop to say a word to anyone. He just left. Dallin hugged Jacey and Jacey left.
When Jacey got home, we had the service plan already in place and off to the store we went for ice cream to give the winners. (To go with the root beer we gave them on round 2.) Jacey took the ice cream to Stephens home first. Stephen was not home, but his very sweet mom was. She took one look at Jacey and started to cry and pulled her into her arms to embrace her. I think she hugged her at least four times. While Jacey was there, she learned the reason that Stephen had left the room so quickly. He was very upset. He told his mom, "Mom, I couldn't do it. I have been on both sides, and I know how much it hurts." He also told his mom that Jacey was part of his "Dream Team" too. He was very upset over how things turned out. The simple gesture of reaching out and serving others, had put my daughter in a place that she too could be comforted.
This last Friday five final names were chosen for office positions. Avery, Colby, Sydney, Isaac, and ... Jacey. Her name was the very last named called, and she was already in self preservation mode. The girl sitting by her burst into tears and hugged her and would not let go. She was devastated, and clinging to Jacey for comfort. Jacey didn't fully comprehend that she had won until the girl congratulated her.
Then my beautiful sweet daughter's true personality came out. She was horrified to feel the burden of success when others were hurting because of her fortune. There were no squeals of delight, or jumping for joy. There was no laughter, or even the desire to celebrate. When she came home, tears were streaming down her face, and her whole demeanor was disheartening. She simply didn't know how to navigate this new adventure. So we did what we knew to do. We reached out to those who were hurting. By the end of the night, Jacey had calmed down enough to answer a question that I had asked her. "Which is worse losing, or winning and know others are hurting?" She originally said winning was harder, but by the evening, she was able to recognize they were both hard. Just Different!
I wouldn't trade either of my children for anyone else's. They are unique in their own ways and definitely not perfect, but their weaknesses and mine at times combine to have the most soul searching of experiences. I absolutely love them with all of my heart. They bring me to my knees often, and they also bring oh so much joy and happiness. I am so proud of my non celebratory children who think of others feeling ahead of their own. I absolutely love that fact that they just try to be good, and hope the world will accept them for doing their best. They are hard workers, and will push through hard things to reach their dreams.
That is what this life is all about. That is why when I received the text from Jacey. "I made it!" I burst into tears, fell to my knees, and thanked the Lord. I also owe him an apology. "Wilt thou bless my unbelief" sometimes is the story of my life.
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