Sometimes I Write a Little Cryptically
Since this is a blog, and other people are invited to read it, I try to be kinder, gentler and maybe leave out bits and pieces of information that I would otherwise throw in there. That was certainly true with my last two entries.
However, this is also my journal and maybe when Jacey looks back, she may want more of the details. So she can see how far she has grown.
So bear with me, or stop reading if you don't want to hear me griping and complaining.
About 2 1/2 years ago, we had a ward boundary change, and both of my kids were devastated to leave their known ward with friends, and branch out to a new and unknown ward. Max was pretty resilient. Jacey not so much. YW leaders haven't been very supportive, or kind and quite frankly the girls have not found common ground in those 2 1/2 years. One girl though is bound and determined to be Jacey's friend. So much so that she follows her everywhere.
Which sounds like a good thing. The problem is this. She is not nice to Jacey. She points out Jacey's flaws, and makes fun of them. She will keep at it for weeks on end, and then find something else to criticize her about. This girl for the first year and a half went to a different school, so it was just on Sunday that Jacey had to endure. The start of the new school year at Layton High, everything changed, and Jacey knew in her heart it was going to be a problem. Sure enough this girl relentlessly followed Jacey, and attached herself to Jacey's friends. Jacey's friends are nice people and accepted her into their group with no questions asked. They are nice enough girls that they don't even realize that this girl is really rude to Jacey. Which upsets Jacey because they blame her, and tell Jacey that she is being mean to this girl. So, Jacey distanced herself from the group to get this girl away from her friends. Which totally backfired. This girl had made friends and wasn't leaving.
This girl won't let Jacey talk to other people, and she marries Jacey off to any boy that dares speaks to her. She even yells at her and tells her she can't have all the boys, that she should share. The one time Jacey had a boy show an interest in her, she made it so uncomfortable for Jacey that Jacey Friend-zoned the boy.
So now, Jacey was on the outside of her friends, and feeling very much alone. She knew that she had done it to herself, so she started eating lunch again with her old friends, and trying to rebuild what she had lost, but the relationships with her friends had suffered, and now they were siding more with this other girl.
I told Jacey that she wasn't going to get rid of this girl, and that somehow she was going to have to learn to like her. To her credit, she is trying very hard to do just that. I also told her she doesn't have to put up with her crap. That it is okay to speak up when the girl is picking on her. Jacey is too sweet for her own good. She just endures it, thinking that that is what Christ would want her to do.
Then Jacey decided to run for office and two of her friends decided to run also. The girl that follows Jacey everywhere told Jacey that she didn't think that she would win. She wouldn't let her talk to people in the halls to encourage them to get to know her and vote for her, and putting together a skit with other people in it was next to impossible. The other two girls took the few friends that Jacey would have asked, and had to rely on others that quite simply didn't help her out. They were the fearsome twosome, and Jacey was left out every time.
When Jacey lost the election to her friends, everything collapsed. The two that had made it paid no attention to the fact that Jacey had lost and was sad. When I say they paid NO ATTENTION, I mean absolutely none. They didn't acknowledge her at all. They didn't notice that their celebrating caused her pain. They didn't notice that when they invited this other girl to their celebration party it caused even more pain. No one cared enough to say "Hey sorry you didn't make it." They were too busy basking in the glory of their win. The relentless follower had won.
Jacey was at home with just her mom and dad. With no one else caring. And the girl that told Jacey that she wasn't going to win was off celebrating with Jacey's old friends.
She didn't lose just the election. She had lost her whole friend structure.
Yes, she will try for cabinet because Jacey is tough, and she wants to be part of something at the school, but she is wondering how it will all work out if she does make it in.
The selection for cabinet is even tougher than the election was. She will be up against last years elected officers that have the confidence that a year in office gives you, and 20 other people. She knows that this is a very long shot, but she is picking herself up and trying again. She will even paste a smile on her face and try to keep rebuilding the friendships that she has lost, but it may take a long time.
Now add in the surgery, the back pain, the physical therapy, the car accident, the concussion and everything else that Jacey has had to deal with this year and you can see the bigger picture. This loss was not about losing an elected office. It was about losing hope that there might be a brighter tomorrow.
Jacey is stronger than she realizes. She knows from an eternal perspective what is happening doesn't matter so much. It is how she picks herself up, and the attitude she carries forward that really matters. It is how she can rely on her testimony of her Savior, and how she can serve him that matters. She knows it is better to be kind than to retaliate.
But sometimes (more often than we would like) doing the right thing can be very, very lonely.
So Gregg and I took Jacey to a baseball game and bought her frozen yogurt. Then she called up a younger girl to hang out with and they watched a chic-flic movie till it was really late. I was so grateful when it was finally time to go to bed. I was emotionally drained from the emotional roller coaster ride that we had been through. But the strangest thing happened when my head it the pillow. My eyes popped open, and I cried the rest of the night. Because apparently if you mess with one of my kids and make them hurt, you hurt me too.
However, this is also my journal and maybe when Jacey looks back, she may want more of the details. So she can see how far she has grown.
So bear with me, or stop reading if you don't want to hear me griping and complaining.
About 2 1/2 years ago, we had a ward boundary change, and both of my kids were devastated to leave their known ward with friends, and branch out to a new and unknown ward. Max was pretty resilient. Jacey not so much. YW leaders haven't been very supportive, or kind and quite frankly the girls have not found common ground in those 2 1/2 years. One girl though is bound and determined to be Jacey's friend. So much so that she follows her everywhere.
Which sounds like a good thing. The problem is this. She is not nice to Jacey. She points out Jacey's flaws, and makes fun of them. She will keep at it for weeks on end, and then find something else to criticize her about. This girl for the first year and a half went to a different school, so it was just on Sunday that Jacey had to endure. The start of the new school year at Layton High, everything changed, and Jacey knew in her heart it was going to be a problem. Sure enough this girl relentlessly followed Jacey, and attached herself to Jacey's friends. Jacey's friends are nice people and accepted her into their group with no questions asked. They are nice enough girls that they don't even realize that this girl is really rude to Jacey. Which upsets Jacey because they blame her, and tell Jacey that she is being mean to this girl. So, Jacey distanced herself from the group to get this girl away from her friends. Which totally backfired. This girl had made friends and wasn't leaving.
This girl won't let Jacey talk to other people, and she marries Jacey off to any boy that dares speaks to her. She even yells at her and tells her she can't have all the boys, that she should share. The one time Jacey had a boy show an interest in her, she made it so uncomfortable for Jacey that Jacey Friend-zoned the boy.
So now, Jacey was on the outside of her friends, and feeling very much alone. She knew that she had done it to herself, so she started eating lunch again with her old friends, and trying to rebuild what she had lost, but the relationships with her friends had suffered, and now they were siding more with this other girl.
I told Jacey that she wasn't going to get rid of this girl, and that somehow she was going to have to learn to like her. To her credit, she is trying very hard to do just that. I also told her she doesn't have to put up with her crap. That it is okay to speak up when the girl is picking on her. Jacey is too sweet for her own good. She just endures it, thinking that that is what Christ would want her to do.
Then Jacey decided to run for office and two of her friends decided to run also. The girl that follows Jacey everywhere told Jacey that she didn't think that she would win. She wouldn't let her talk to people in the halls to encourage them to get to know her and vote for her, and putting together a skit with other people in it was next to impossible. The other two girls took the few friends that Jacey would have asked, and had to rely on others that quite simply didn't help her out. They were the fearsome twosome, and Jacey was left out every time.
When Jacey lost the election to her friends, everything collapsed. The two that had made it paid no attention to the fact that Jacey had lost and was sad. When I say they paid NO ATTENTION, I mean absolutely none. They didn't acknowledge her at all. They didn't notice that their celebrating caused her pain. They didn't notice that when they invited this other girl to their celebration party it caused even more pain. No one cared enough to say "Hey sorry you didn't make it." They were too busy basking in the glory of their win. The relentless follower had won.
Jacey was at home with just her mom and dad. With no one else caring. And the girl that told Jacey that she wasn't going to win was off celebrating with Jacey's old friends.
She didn't lose just the election. She had lost her whole friend structure.
Yes, she will try for cabinet because Jacey is tough, and she wants to be part of something at the school, but she is wondering how it will all work out if she does make it in.
The selection for cabinet is even tougher than the election was. She will be up against last years elected officers that have the confidence that a year in office gives you, and 20 other people. She knows that this is a very long shot, but she is picking herself up and trying again. She will even paste a smile on her face and try to keep rebuilding the friendships that she has lost, but it may take a long time.
Now add in the surgery, the back pain, the physical therapy, the car accident, the concussion and everything else that Jacey has had to deal with this year and you can see the bigger picture. This loss was not about losing an elected office. It was about losing hope that there might be a brighter tomorrow.
Jacey is stronger than she realizes. She knows from an eternal perspective what is happening doesn't matter so much. It is how she picks herself up, and the attitude she carries forward that really matters. It is how she can rely on her testimony of her Savior, and how she can serve him that matters. She knows it is better to be kind than to retaliate.
But sometimes (more often than we would like) doing the right thing can be very, very lonely.
So Gregg and I took Jacey to a baseball game and bought her frozen yogurt. Then she called up a younger girl to hang out with and they watched a chic-flic movie till it was really late. I was so grateful when it was finally time to go to bed. I was emotionally drained from the emotional roller coaster ride that we had been through. But the strangest thing happened when my head it the pillow. My eyes popped open, and I cried the rest of the night. Because apparently if you mess with one of my kids and make them hurt, you hurt me too.
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