Somtimes Families Are Great - Sometimes They Cause A Lot of Pain
Change is inevitable in families. Members tend to grow up and move on. This is something I understand, but sometimes when you least expect it people you love and have lived around all of your life have different values and opinions that hurt you.
A few years ago, Gregg's side of the family decided to change how we give to each other for Christmas. I know at the time I was part of the problem in deciding how to do it, but from my view I voiced my opinion and was heard. Changes were made to make the most people happy. Yes, there were compromises made in the way were doing it, and we are even now constantly adapting and making things work.
So why was I thinking that when my family went through a similar change it would be easier than it was? The answer to that is that I naively thought they had similar values and views, and that it would simply be a matter of compromise.
Here is what I have learned over the last week or so:
1. I am very opinionated.
2. I have very opinionated sisters and brother-in-laws.
3. Understanding each other is next to impossible.
4. Being listened to is just as impossible.
5. Everyone has a solution, but won't compromise because they are right.
6. Apparently I spend too much money on
gifts.
7.Traditional family breakfasts (that I have made Gregg's miss his family's breakfast for) is not a tradition at all.
8. People that you love and have bought gifts for over the years can't remember you giving to them because they were cut off. (Even though I spent too much money on them.)
9. Don't ever be the one to actually bring things like this up.
10. You need to start taking your anti-depression medication before you deal with my family. We are all a bunch of psychos.
~ Just saying.
A few years ago, Gregg's side of the family decided to change how we give to each other for Christmas. I know at the time I was part of the problem in deciding how to do it, but from my view I voiced my opinion and was heard. Changes were made to make the most people happy. Yes, there were compromises made in the way were doing it, and we are even now constantly adapting and making things work.
So why was I thinking that when my family went through a similar change it would be easier than it was? The answer to that is that I naively thought they had similar values and views, and that it would simply be a matter of compromise.
Here is what I have learned over the last week or so:
1. I am very opinionated.
2. I have very opinionated sisters and brother-in-laws.
3. Understanding each other is next to impossible.
4. Being listened to is just as impossible.
5. Everyone has a solution, but won't compromise because they are right.
6. Apparently I spend too much money on
gifts.
7.Traditional family breakfasts (that I have made Gregg's miss his family's breakfast for) is not a tradition at all.
8. People that you love and have bought gifts for over the years can't remember you giving to them because they were cut off. (Even though I spent too much money on them.)
9. Don't ever be the one to actually bring things like this up.
10. You need to start taking your anti-depression medication before you deal with my family. We are all a bunch of psychos.
~ Just saying.
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| This picture was taken last year on Christmas. |
I'm sure this has been a source of frustration to you! We stopped giving sibling and cousin gifts many years ago in Greg's family. And just this year my sister (whose love language is certainly gift giving) suggested that we cease giving to siblings and cousins this year. I'm so glad. For my side of the family it was such a hassle that ended up in buying dumb gift cards for adults and me picking out the cousin gifts and then killing myself to try to get it mailed out on time. I'd so much rather enjoy my family's company (Greg's and mine) at Christmastime and not worry about the gifts. This is largely caused by the fact that most of the adult siblings on both sides are very picky about what they want to receive - or else they don't need anything - hence gift cards. At that point we just said, why don't we all just keep our money instead of swapping it around through gift cards. (Apparently I'm opinionated about this too!)
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