We Are Again Having Piano Drama

 

Last November our piano teacher downsized and let us go. It was hard on me because I loved how she taught my kids. I agonized over finding a new teacher, and finally found one that was really nice. This new teacher immediately recognized that my kids were not loving it. So she focused more on getting them to enjoy playing the piano. We have been with her for a little more than 5 months. She is very gentle with my kids, and they are liking to play the piano more. Going to piano lessons is not so much of a burden either.

But, . . . I can't see that they are progressing very much. They are not being taught technique and they don't do theory at all. I think they have had the same songs for ever now.

So, . . . when Sandy, our old teacher, called to let me know that she has openings for my kids, I was again sent into a state of unease. I asked both of my kids to make the decision.  Both of my kids like the new teacher better. Jacey recognizes that she is not learning as much, and chose to go back to Sandy. Max knew what I wanted him to choose, and finally told me that he is leaning towards the current teacher. I was so hoping to get Max to choose the harder path on his own rather than being pushed, but apparently that is not going to happen anytime soon.

I want Max to know that I value his feelings and the decisions he makes, but I can't go in two different directions.

Gregg ultimately made the decision for me based on gospel principles. (Our Heavenly Father had to make a hard choice in the pre-earth life. One that he knew would mean losing some of his beloved children. That could not have been easy. He didn't choose the sure/easy path. He chose the one that would lead to the most potential for growth.)

Now I have to be brave enough to tell my son. Wow! I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him and I will be right there with him every step of the way. That we can do this together. Unfortunately, he is not going to be happy with me and will instead want to crawl into his cave and pretend that he is going to be okay. He will be, but I don't want to be the one that wounds his tender heart.

Maybe because my heart and Max's are so much alike, I wish I could side with him just a little more. I would like people to side with me too. Last year Jacey messed up on a quote for one of her classes. Instead of saying, "I don't need easy. I just need possible" she wrote "I don't need possible. I just need easy." Sometimes I would like to have things be just a little bit easier.

Last night I went to a Relief Society meeting in which Glen Rawson came to speak to us. He told a story about a dream/revelation a woman had in which the Savior came to her and asked, "The work hasn't been TOO much for you. Has it?" I need to remember that in my own life when I am going through difficult times. I would never trade the chance to be a mom for an easier life. I would willingly give all I have for them, and for their progression. It may not be easy. They may even wear me out, but I do it all very very willingly. They are so worth it.